Why Please Others?

Yaw peoples,

Why do we humans feel the need to to impress our fellow beings? Go out of our way to get in their good books? “We’re not the only ones” you might say. Sure. Animals do it too. Male peacocks display their plumage to attract the females. But is it done just for attention? No. It is strictly for mating purposes, without which the species would die out.

Is our intent the same? I think not. I don’t think we do it just for the purpose of mating. That’s not everything, is it? People looking just for the purpose of mating is a whole another topic entirely. Let’s stick to the one at hand.

At this point, you must be thinking “How does this guy know so much about it? Ah. Experience”. I admit it freely. I was afflicted with this condition, like a cancer spreading throughout my body. I still suffer from it, albeit in a small way. In the order of a mild cold. There are people I hold in high esteem, whom I seek to emulate.

But I feel I have passed that stage whereupon I used to fawn on them, hoping for a smile, a few kind words and to be included in their group. I came to realize that you can only be yourself. Everyone else is already taken. You can’t become popular by pretending to be who you’re not. People can pierce that veil of falseness easily. And then you’re worse off than you were before.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying we shouldn’t care what society thinks of us and do what we like. But fawning over people and showering them with compliments is a tad too much. It is good, no doubt, to be in peoples’ good books because it might turn out to be helpful someday. Not to mention it keeps you on good terms with them and works wonders for your mental sanity. I’ve noticed that, unless they are truly selfless at heart, people are more inclined to help you if they like you. But that shouldn’t come at the cost of losing your self-dignity and pride just to make him/her like you. Just be yourself and let haters do their thing.

I’d like to quote Dr. Seuss here. “Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”.


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